Engraved Cremation Urns Human Cremation Urns Pet Cremation Urns
It is natural to want to protect our children from painful experiences.
Most adults, however, are surprised to find how well most children adjust to the death of a pet if they are prepared with
honest, simple explanations. From a young age, children begin to understand the concept of death, even though they may
be unaware of it at a conscious level.
When a pet is dying, it may be more difficult for a child to resolve the
grief experienced if the child is not told the truth. Adults should avoid using terms like "put to sleep"
when discussing euthanasia of a family pet. A child could misinterpret this common phrase, indicating the adult's denial of death, and develop a terror of bedtime.
Suggesting to a child that "God has taken the pet" might create conflict in the child, who could become angry
at the higher power for cruelty toward a pet and the child.
Children are capable of understanding, each in
their own way, that life must end for all living things. Support their grief by acknowledging their pain. The
death of a pet can be an opportunity for a child to learn that adult caretakers can be relied upon to extend comfort and reassurance.
It is an important opportunity to encourage a child to express his or her feelings.
Two and Three
Year Olds: Children who are two or three years old typically have no understanding of death.
They often consider it a form of sleep. They should be told that their pet has died and will not return. Common
reactions to this include temporary loss of speech and generalized distress. The two or three year old should be reassured
that the pet's failure to return is unrelated to anything the child may have said or done. Typically, a child in
this age range will readily accept another pet in place of the dead one.
Four, Five, and Six Year
Olds: Children in this age range have some understanding of death but in a way that relates to a continued
existence. The pet may be considered to be living underground while continuing to eat, breathe, and play. Alternatively,
it may be considered asleep. A return to life may be expected if the child views death as temporary. These children
often feel that any anger they had for the pet may be responsible for its death. This view should be refuted because
they may also translate this belief to the death of family members in the past. Some children also see death as
contagious and begin to fear that their own death (or that of others) is imminent. They should be reassured that their
death it not likely. Manifestations of grief often take the form of disturbances in bladder and bowel control, eating,
and sleeping. This is best managed by parent-child discussions that allow the child to express feelings and concerns.
Several brief discussions are generally more productive than one or two prolonged sessions.
Eight, and Nine Year Olds: The irreversibility of death becomes real to these children. They
usually do not personalize death, thinking it cannot happen to themselves. However, some children may develop concerns
about death of their parents. They may become very curious about death and its implications. Parents should be
ready to respond frankly and honestly to questions that may arise. Several manifestations of grief may occur in these
children, including the development of school problems, learning problems, antisocial behavior, hypochondria concerns, or
aggression. Additionally, withdrawal, over-attentiveness, or clinging behavior may be seen. Based on grief reactions
to loss of parents or siblings, it is likely that the symptoms may not occur immediately, but several weeks or months later.
Adolescents: Although this age group also reacts similarly to adults, may adolescents
may exhibit various forms of denial. This usually takes the form of a lack of emotional display. Consequently,
these young people may be experiencing sincere grief without any outward manifestations.